THANKS

When you pray for rain, and go outside bring with you an umbrella. That’s how you should act towards your prayer. That’s Faith.- mom

Four days ago, I spent most of my time lying in bed- sleeping away my anxieties about the results of the CPA board examinations that I had taken for the past two weekends. After 6 years in undergraduate studies, and another 4 months in review this was the crucible of my life into the working force of society. I was in the midway of transitioning between my life as a student towards the beginning of my life as a professional.

Throughout my life, I had learnt that my fate though my actions do play a big part of it, is not fully just because of my own efforts, and skill. That every “failure” is a blessing disguise. Every moment, meant to forge me into someone in the future that is…like I have prayed from a certain point in my life.

But still I was afraid, that I may not have made it. The ramifications of not making it now were too hurtful to think about, and I prayed to be able to be able to endure it should it come to pass.

Not to say, that this- making it, passing the CPA licensure examinations- has no ramifications. It does. And just the same, I continuously pray to be able to endure and surpass them as well.

And having reached this point, I am filled with so much, so much joy and thanks. It makes it hard to breathe, hard to write further…

But all praise be to God, I managed to compose and gather my thoughts. Posted in my other SNS with quite a few changes, but without changing the essence. I leave it here, and to all who have been reading and sharing with this humble blog- THANK YOU.

In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful..

“O God! Lord of Power (And Rule), Thou givest power to whom Thou pleasest, and Thou strippest off power from whom Thou pleasest: Thou enduest with honour whom Thou pleasest, and Thou bringest low whom Thou pleasest: In Thy hand is all good. Verily, over all things Thou hast power.” (3: 26-27)
Still, not fully absorbing the matter as of now but one thing is for sure, I had set my mind and soul that whatever the outcome of this stage I was blessed with more than enough.

My family, my friends, the people I met and encountered from different walks of life, my teachers both in my undergraduate years and in the mentors in the last 4 months of review…even the people in the bakeshop I frequented and that kind elder lady I pass by sometimes at nearby university’s overpass…

I was and am blessed with more than enough, that I know no matter what happens now it is my first and foremost duty to remain steadfast in Faith and live my life to the fullest Faith.

When I took those 7-board subjects, I left the testing centers feeling as if I had no control. And I didn’t. I knew I didn’t. But I shaded each number with no trust in my knowledge, but full trust in His Grace. My preboard exams had been nowhere as satisfactory as my peers. Because, to be honest, once you see the exam questions there will be countless times when you doubt your judgement. And the human capacity, is oh so, so limited.

And after it all, all of those who took the exam with you realize this: If not for Him, this would be nothing. I would be nothing.

There are those who know me who might think and wonder if I am truly happy with this path I have chosen. “Being an accountant is far from my passion of being a writer/journalist/teacher”.

The thing is, I am. I am grateful, and happy. Challenged and honored. If anything, this path I have embraced has taught me and opened my eyes to kind of person- the kind of writer, journalist, and teacher I would truly want to be up until the end of my days (God willing).

Most of all, I learned that to pursue each dream, is to be accountable for it. That these goals may even change or evolve as we unravel who we truly are, by God’s Grace alone.

Being able to enter the profession of accountants, has only God willing, brought me a step closer towards the person He wants me to be. In all aspects.

(Also, am I not writing now?)

I also learned that no matter what I do, it is not insignificant. Not in His eyes. And trying my best in every aspect of my life, starting with my family and those close to me, is as significant as any endeavor I undertake.

Looking back, do I regret being not able to pass my scholarship exam to that prestigious university and had gone abroad? Do I regret not being able to finish my years in my first uni? Do I regret being held back by a year or two from graduating and earning my licence earlier? Do I regret even having to go through the metaphorically bloody and grueling years of a student of accountancy?

How many times, each year and up until now have I prayed “O Lord, if this is good for me, for my service, for my promise, for ‘that day’, bring me through it” ?

And here I am.

Indeed, God’s wisdom is Infinite.

For all those years, I am thankful. I could not imagine taking another route. I could not imagine the blessings I have and am receiving, had I been led towards another path.

So before anyone, all praise and glory be to the One True God. All praise is due to Him…

for giving me my family- my irreplaceable mother, my father, my lovable and protective brothers, my strong and cool sister, my nephew (squeee~), my dear uncles, aunts and cousins from all degrees, even the legacy that my grandparents have left to teach me..

for giving my dear and true friends… (no naming. Don’t want to be unfair. You guys know who you are. Love, love~)

for my teachers who believed in me. From my English teacher in my early highschool and elementary days, to my dear teachers and mentors in  Senior High (including Ma’am Principal!), to all my undergraduate teachers both in first and second universities (in all subjects, minor or major)…

for the memories and stories of people near and afar that have served to remind, reprimand, and inspire me…

for this. This, minor, minor yet very meaningful achievement.

I have earned two earthly titles- MICB, CPA.

Glory be to God!

May we earn an even more esteemed place in His Presence, God willing. Ameen!

Seed

I won’t give up dreaming. If I can’t realize it now, I’ll work for a future where that dream can’t be harmed and where it can grow. I’ll plant the seed today so that even if I may not live to see it, my children can see the tree all-grown.

(Tree of Hope by InertiaK on DevianArt)

Dandelion in the Spring|Unfrozen| For the New Year

Fear, mistrust and resignation has frozen us from moving towards that warm and bright tomorrow for many years now.

We have, though we insist on the opposite, frozen ourselves. We have easily given our mind and freedoms to thoughts an the demands of people even if we insist on freedom. We have given up the gift of dreaming for the sake of winning the rat race or just simply existing.

We limited our future to a frozen and desolate place of material, forgetting that value is something that cannot be seen.

But just like the Edison and Tesla slaved away to harness the gift the spark to ease our ways of living, dreams and ideals are not impossible. Whilst harnessing the gift of the spark, these two men never gave up despite the trash talking and ridicule, the poverty and isolation. You won’t be reading this if those two gifts to mankind gave up on the “impossible dream” (electricity). I wouldn’t found a much more easier way to put down my thoughts in “writing”.

Maybe we can move free from this frozen existence if we start to believe in what today seems impossible.

Dreams like, world peace- of unity in diversity, a true fair economy, a harmoniously balanced society. Like a global community wherein racism and other forms of senseless hate are fought with fervor. Wherein ideas are welcomed, and discussion is for unraveling of truth rather than elation. Where concern for others are beyond the sake of  “Public  Relations Promotions”.

We need to believe that to dream, is to be more than an idealist. We cannot be frozen any longer in the belief that dreams are just ideas that involve only ourselves. We cannot be frozen any longer that these dreams cannot be achieved in the gladiator’s arena. We cannot be frozen any longer in the belief that we are but a single person whose actions are irrelevant in making this world a better place for everyone.

We have to realize the fact that it is our choice to not believe is what has frozen us away from reaching our dreams. That our choice to let society be is what has led to it being broken as it is.

We have to realize that even gladiators had dreams. They dreamt to break free, and that is why they fought.

We have to realize that the dandelion in the spring that we long to find in a time frozen by pride and prejudice, is already within us.

And may we cultivate it in this coming year of 2015.

—–

MAY YOU ALL HAVE A BLESSED NEW YEAR!

On Having Faith. | T.O.A

On Having Faith. | T.O.A

True Faith is following the “way of balance”. Having it means having the balance between sincere confidence (in the things you can do) and humility (in accepting that there things beyond you), between being content in what you have (gratitude) and believing you can improve (having an ambition).

Having True Faith is realizing that you are under the One True GOD’s Mercy, Justice, His Dominion, and by (following) His Decree realizing that you are meant to be a gift, a positive force in His Creation.