Break Away~

When I opened my eyes slowly to the sun
It was full of white shadows
Because of the weight of endless thinking
It’s even hard to breathe

Look at the gap
In front of the dead end
Untie your hands
Runaway

-Years, Alesso X CHEN (Korean version, translated)

I have hopes, but not expectations, is what I told my friend. She wasn’t sure what I meant, and I told her that I would write about it.

It was one of the mindsets I’ve realized I should adapt for myself, as I continue to face the ever-challenging future.

For those who know of my Twitter and followed my noise and random rants, I’ve decided to take a break from a majority of my social networks and keep to myself, except for this blog where I only write my most coherent (rambling) thoughts. For those who got tired of me and have me mute, you must be breathing a sigh of relief aren’t ya? Keke. No biggie. Look, I’m sentencing myself to at least two months of silence and self-reflection! Haha.

The thing is, when you “adult” (this generation’s ‘sweg’ way of saying “grow up”), you tend to be plunged into the rat race and if you’re not careful ,you get consumed by it. Almost countless disappointments when things turn out not how you (exactly) expect them to, after what you thought was “giving your all,” tend to put off that determination you had in the beginning. “Disappointments” tend to be a common occurrence as you grow up, one would find.

But most of all, I guess, the most weighing disappointment is when you wake up in the morning, you look at the mirror, and your eyes don’t reflect “who” you expect to become as a person. The type that resurfaces when you have everything else in silence, and you are alone with only your conscience’s thoughts. Or I might be overthinking, but for the level of clutz-iness like mine lately, it might be a good thing to bring back.  

Where did I go wrong?  What should I stop doing? What should I have done?

My younger brother told me of something he had read earlier that talked about two types of happiness: one, that of contentment; and two, that of fun/instant gratification. He said the problem, with the generation that we belonged to is that happiness is made exclusively to mean what can give us the concept of fun- jolts of energy, pulsing emotions, and the almost absence of the need to think. Many of us limit our happiness to the venues of drinking and partying, where the beats makes us forget of the problems we face. “We stop thinking at that moment, and we’re happy,” that’s what most of us think happiness is.

But that’s the problem. We simply forget. We stop one of the most fundamental aspects that makes us human- thinking. Our “problems” did not  truly”go away.”

I do not drink. I do not party. I barely watch TV. But I guess, I’ve clung to some frame of someone and something within my mind that landed me where I am now, more than the actions or the conditions of those that surround me.

break-free-2

“God will not change the condition of a people, until they change what is within themselves.”

(Chapter 13, “The Thunder”, Verse 11)

The verse above has visited my mind far too many times, without the influence of others, to just ignore it. And an small argument with my mother that shook the right places…

Erm, am I still making any sense? I hope I am, haha.

Actually, there are a lot of thoughts still going on in my head. But I feel like a hypocrite, like how I feel most like these days, if I didn’t put those thoughts into action and change my own condition.

Look at the gap
In front of the dead end
Untie your hands
Runaway

-Years, Alesso X CHEN (Korean version, translated)

Ahead lies a long road.

Am excited, and hopeful for a good outcome.

But I don’t expect everything to work our as want. As what I want, isn’t always what I thought was best, what I needed, or what I really wanted.

Accepting that one has fallen and starting over, could prove to be very difficult. But how can we get anywhere without any pain right?

So…

..Let us begin?

assa!

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The Year of “Why?”

A definite MUST READ.

adoptingjames

why-1

Welcome to 2016!

This is the year where you will either A) figure out what you want to do with your life, B) continue to push forward toward your goals, or C) reclaim your lost passion and start over.

But there’s one question you need to ask yourself every single day should you decide to act on your passion or goals.

Everyday, when you feel beat up, worn out, tired, depressed, whatever, ask yourself: “WHY?”

WHY do you want to lose weight?

WHY do you want to finish school?

WHY do you want to get your painting in an art gallery?

WHY do you want to be famous?

You see, when you ask this question, it puts your inner-self right back at the beginning. It mentally places you right back in that moment when you decided you wanted to achieve whatever goals you want to have achieved.

And then, when you…

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Lessons from the Railways| Thoughts of an Ahjumma

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(Credit to The Philippine Daily Inquirer for photo)

I always am blessed to learn or to be reminded of something good while taking the MRT. But today was quite different.

There are almost a handful of things I was reminded of or taught about while experiencing another worse-than-packed-sardines-MRT day. (Which is almost like everyday, except Sundays XD)

1.Our society is very much like this kind of MRT day. People pushing,impatient, all desperately racing to get their destination, not minding that others like them are on this same platform as well. Literally, and figuratively speaking.

They’d push, they’d do almost anything to get on that train. I strongly think that 2/4 of the frustration comes from not giving others the chance to get off first. (The tramcar is obviously full, how could one get in when others haven’t gotten off to give next passengers actual space??)

Would anything change if we push ourselves into an already jam-packed vehicle? Are those few secondss we lose just to let others off first really so important? Won’t we lose more when we fight and almost push others off the railway?

This mentality of “my welfare first”/“i have my problems too” is a major reason why we ain’t moving as a society. 

“No man is an island” is something that I believe talks more than just individual loneliness. It talks about how we all, despite being unique, are interconnected. In fact, it’s our uniqueness that helps us connect and helps us collectively more forward.

2. Reminded again to never judge a book by its cover. Just because that person looks so “sacred” that he/she can’t be corrupt.

Such kind of person was next in line to me. Making way for someone getting off, I was pushed out and then that person got in first. I laughed at the encounter but it made me sad, since they’d be like one of those people many would expect to act with more patience & decency… whereas if I would have worn a veil slightly different from theirs, society would probably just go “Oh she’s of ‘them’. Rude, is expected”. (Prejudice is something terrible to have)

3. Despite all the frustrating ills we have as human beings there’s still hope. Most grateful to the security guard who let me go first -even after I was pushed out of the queue, giving me an exception even when others would have protested. He saw what happened  and calmly explained even the commuters’ hot tempers. Without his help, I probably would have ended up at the end of dreadful queue. (I know because none of those who were next to me in line moved an inch to let me get back in line after being pushed out.)

“There is still hope”. If only we could all learn to be like that security guard. If we could stop being stubborn in being pessimistic. If we could learn to let ourselves have sympathy/empathy again. That the plight of others is not their fault entirely. Especially in this society, we in differing degrees are responsible.

Reminds me of that commuter who laughed at Pnoy for trying to implement “tuwid na daan”/(pursuing the) “straight path” and all who still believed in it. That person said,  “He’s a fool! What straight path? It’s nonexistent. In this society? Ha!”

I wished I could’ve spoken out then.

Because the only reason we can’t seem to get on a straight path is because we have chosen to believe that such path doesn’t exist. We laugh at others ACTUALLY doing what they can to change. When we should pity ourselves for not being concerned,giving up, doing nothing.

4.  Last is something I’ve adopted after taking the MRT quite often, if not regularly.

In a competitive society, the pressures of everyday life can come from all directions- pushing you, squeezing you ’til you can’t seem to breathe.

  Letting these pressures get to you won’t help. Letting the anger of others get to you won’t help. Breathe despite all of it. Adjust what you can, but never loose your footing, your zen within. I’ve learned to calmly let others be when it seems there’s nothing I can do now to change the situation. And to smile, even it can be painful.

Because it might seem such a long ride, but as long as you keep patient in doing what you can, your bound to get to your destination in time.

-Growing Tree

Seed

I won’t give up dreaming. If I can’t realize it now, I’ll work for a future where that dream can’t be harmed and where it can grow. I’ll plant the seed today so that even if I may not live to see it, my children can see the tree all-grown.

(Tree of Hope by InertiaK on DevianArt)

Choice, for Now|T.O.A

“No one can tell what will happen in the future”- mom

And so many wise people say.

This is going to be quick. Am about to go to the airport for an unexpected flight.

And here we are…

Yesterday I entered college. Now half of my last semester has passed, and the year is ending.

I ask myself, “How did I live my life?”

I’ve always believed that we may not control the future, but no good choice and intention made now goes unrewarded. It just takes time. Time will tell, and guidance is there to help you onto the right track.

We are who we are, but what is now is but a mere drop. We can always choose to strive to be the best of who we are.

The choice we make, is the sure thing we can do.

So choose to find truth, choose to live truly. That’s the best we can always do.

TO EVERYONE: THANK YOU. I’M SORRY. PEACE BE WITH YOU. GODSPEED

Flying Cars, Robot Maids, and Laser Guns| A MUST WATCH AND READ| SPREAD AND DO CHANGE!

Hi guys! Here is a piece written and delivered by a good friend of mine! His message cannot be more timely! I won’t talk much anymore since his message is the focus of this post! Please! Spread this! And inspire and do change in your own little ways too! “Every single grain, drop, iota, and atom counts!”

[TRANSCRIPT]

Flying Cars, Robot Maids, and Laser Guns

By

Alfonso Manalastas (Computer Studies Program)

When I was much younger, I imagined a future world that spanned a colony of concrete skyscrapers, the sky flooded with flying shards and splinters of steel, life slowly dissipating, and the sun nowhere to be seen. This is a fault that cannot be attributed to my once naïve mind, oh golly, no. Being born in a generation saturated by Technicolor images of “Star Wars” and “Star Trek” aired in primetime, coincidentally at the height of the “Back To The Future” franchise that depicted a highly futuristic 2015.

2015 is but a few months from today.

You see, as a young boy, I thought that by this time the world was going to be swell, and majestic, and awesome in every sense of the word. I thought that by this time, we would see flying cars that travel faster and higher than commercial aircrafts we see today, ones that could literally cross-continents in a matter of minutes. Like if you want to have Breakfast in Paris, no problem! Lunch in Italia, why not? And if you’re in the mood for something more exotic, you can always go to India for dinner.

Robot maids will be scattered about everywhere, all at our command and disposal, each one of them specifically designed to cater to all our wants and needs, like “Uh, excuse me sir. Would you like to have some tea or some wine?” Right? And oh shucks, who hasn’t dreamt of shooting laser guns? They’re exactly like regular guns except they shoot lasers!

But standing before me is a completely different world. I see right in front of me an audience filled with people who have perfectly capable hands, eyes that beam of dreams, with thirst for life, and curiosity for knowledge. But outside the very walls of this institution, all I see is a wasteland. A dark, concrete abyss, remnants of what used to be a paradise. And then I begin to realize that maybe the problem isn’t that the world did not turn out as I hoped it would be, but that as a young boy I believed that in order for the world to be swell, and majestic, and awesome in every sense of the word, that all it needed are flying cars, robot maids, and laser guns.

Our generation is fixated on the concept of progress so much that even as young boys and girls, social constructs have implanted a certain algorithm in our minds making us believe that in order to create a perfect world, that technology, industry, and even warfare is the only way to go.

Now, my young travellers, allow me to deconstruct that algorithm for you:

One: every member of the Urian population bears with them a piece of plastic called an “ID”. Under each is the caption “I am an Urian, I grow trees.”

Two: each one of those Urians spend hours falling in line to get their ID pictures taken, making sure that their faces turn out as beautifully as they could ever hope for. We spend so much time doing that instead of, well, actually growing trees.

Three: a total biomass of 42,000 square feet of coral life is destroyed after a ship skims through the subterranean ecosystem in the Tubbataha Reef.

Four: approximately 350 endangered sea turtles were found dead in a Chinese vessel a few miles off the coast of Palawan.

Five: all 298 passengers on board were killed after an aircraft was shot down the Ukrainian skies by a man-made weapon.

Six: On November 2013, the Western Black Rhino was declared to be officially extinct.

Seven: According to conservationists if nothing is done, the Northern White Rhino and the Javan Rhino will soon follow.

Eight: The primary source of their extinction? Murdered by us humans.

Nine: Miss Earth, to us, is a woman who strips down to her underwear and parades her half-naked body, her porcelain white skin, and her 20,000 peso hair and make up professing to us nothing but generic sound bytes about how important the natural environment is as if we don’t know that already.

Ten: Let us ignore the fact that the Miss Earth beauty pageant is a project that costs millions and millions of money that could have been otherwise been spent in actually making a difference.

Eleven: Welcome to the pornography of environmentalism where to represent planet earth as its human embodiment, one must be intelligent, beautiful, and have a vital statistics of 36, 24, 36.

Twelve: In Israel, it is normal for people to gather around in tents with food and beer on hand as they watch bombs fall over the shores of Gaza to the sound of dying children, kind of like watching fireworks on a bright New Year’s Eve.

Thirteen: The year Israel began to attack Gaza, over 1000 people died.

Fourteen: The year the Al-Qaeda struck America during the 9/11 terrorist attack, 2,900.

Fifteen: During the Holocaust, 11 million.

Sixteen: Blood diamond in Zimbabwe.

Seventeen: The Tiananmen Square Massacre.

Eighteen: The Korean War.

Nineteen: The Vietnam War.

Twenty: The bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Twenty-One: When will we ever stop destroying everything around us? We are supposed to be a community.

I have been alive for 21 years. It means that for 21 years, I have seen the world wronged 21 times. But as I grow older, I refuse to accept that the world has no hope. I refuse to believe in flying cars, robot maids, and laser guns, and instead, I choose to believe in our sense of community, in our respect for all forms of life, and in our ability to inspire human compassion. Because standing before me is an audience filled with people who have perfectly capable hands, eyes that beam of dreams, with thirst for life, and curiosity for knowledge. All I see are Urians dedicated to keeping out past from defining us as we move forward in our conquest towards molding community and sustaining ecology.

The work has just begun.

 

Crossing Bridges. A short anecdote for this day| Thoughts of An Ahjumma

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“By understanding the past you understand the future, unless you change your ways, life will repeat in an endless cycle.”

In the name of GOD, Most Gracious, Most Merciful…

No words can begin to describe what I am feeling today.

Graduation….graduating from college is one of the said most important turning points in one’s life. The crucible, the climax of a stage.

No words can come from me, but by God, that can describe what I’ve learned.

Graduation. Life. Turning Points. Stages.

The moment where I’ll be stepping out of this plane, and crossing the bridge onto the next.

Graduating from college makes me think of that future stage when I’ll be “graduating from life.”

All of the moments, all of the tears, all of the smiles…All of it add up to who and where I am today. And none of them are truly because of me. No, not even the success. I see that now.

Above all, I am always and most grateful unto the One True God.  And certainly, no words can express how grateful I am for the people I’ve encountered in my life, even those I didn’t actually talk to.  Even the shows I’ve seen on TV has taught me certain significant things. *laughs*

And through it all, it’s the tears that seem the more weighty amongst all the experiences.  The struggle, the hurt…all of them, for reasons I’ve came to understand, for reasons I’m just coming to understand and for reasons I have yet to understand, were worth it.

 

And that’s just talking about going through the “phase” called college.

What more in the whole journey  called “Life”?

What about those who were past this stage? What were you thoughts back then? What are you thoughts now, whenever you look back?

 

 

I only pray that I’ll be able to “graduate” from Life, and not flunk it. Ameen.