Fallen Leaves: Of Time and Memories

Lord, said David, since you do not need us,
why did you create these two worlds?

Reality replied: O prisoner of time,
I was a secret treasure of kindness and generosity,
and I wished this treasure to be known,
so I created a mirror: its shining face, the heart;
its darkened back, the world;
The back would please you if you’ve never seen the face.

Has anyone ever produced a mirror out of mud and straw?
Yet clean away the mud and straw,
and a mirror might be revealed.

Until the juice ferments a while in the cask,
it isn’t wine. If you wish your heart to be bright,
you must do a little work.

My King addressed the soul of my flesh:
You return just as you left.
Where are the traces of my gifts?

-snippet from Be Lost in the Call, Rumi

“I’m so sad….How can I be happy?” my dear friend asked.

“Remember the good things that has happened despite the bad,” was my reply.

It must be prospect of a huge challenge that kept me in spirits of anticipation. Maybe the coffee too.

My friend let out another sad sigh. “Memories. It all just ends up in memories.”

I don’t know what hit me, but my body flew into action. No.

“Memories are carried on to create anew. They aren’t the end,” was all I could say in that moment, collecting myself as my mother’s words days ago began to sink into me.

My mother had called our attention that late afternoon, as she segregated the peelings and cuttings of various fruits and vegetables that she prepared. She was very enthusiastic and commanded our attention.

She said she was just astounded how much learning about permaculture and composting has taught her so much.

“Can you imagine? We eat these fruits and vegetables. Then we return them to the soil. And from the plants that grow from the soil, we eat. We put them back inside our bodies. What we give the soil, it gives us back. But nowadays, most  of us plant for the sake of a huge harvest or money, using chemicals forgetting that we eat what we harvest. It made me think about life. What does that tell you two? Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

I guiltily remember how I was slow to catch on the depth of what she was trying to say.

We are prisoners of time.

The moments of happiness, the moments of sadness pass by us. Time does not stay still. They leave us but not without leaving a mark on us, in form of memories. And with Time, even these memories become cloudy until, most, fade into nothingness.

But do they really?

A leaf, full of color once, dries up and falls to the ground. Time passes, there’s no more of the leaf. All that is left is the soil or dust. If we think of it that way, then surely…it is all for naught…depressing.

But! But! It doesn’t happen that way!

The “dead leaves” along with another “depressing” thing called rain,  actually nurture life into the soil. They are, with proper care in special cases like in cities (for example), what bear the healthy ground that is healthy enough for new plants to spring. And with a extra effort, those new plants can even be healthier than the “plants or leaves that came before them.”


Just like memories.




Morning musings: Trees and Growing up

It’s nearly a week since I’ve earned my license.

And as the days pass by, I’m still taking it in. More than 13 thousand people like me took that exam. I am more than blessed to be of the less than of it to have passed.

Just this morning, just after I had finished preparing breakfast and mopped the floors, I thought how familiar the sounds of the outside of our apartment have become to me, venturing up to this point. From the humming of the tricycles or the thrumming of the jeepneys that passed by our street, to faint chirping of the birds flying above who knows what, to the sounds of people getting along their day whether for work or for school. All these sounds and the sounds of the province my family and I had left behind for a nearly half a year now, were the sounds I had grown accustomed with as a student or a fresh graduate, striving to earn her license so that she might find a good place in oh-so-tumultuous economy.

And now, she has. Now, though those sounds that may be so routine, something about the one listening to it has changed.

I wonder what a tree “feels” when it’s finally stretched out it’s branches out into the open, each twig covered with leaves, now ready (?) and facing all the elements. Does it the feel the same way as I do?

I wonder if it’s the same with what a newly and fully grown cheetah feels after it’s mother, who had raised him/her, must let him/her now face the wilderness all on his/her own?

Now I’m an adult, and can be capable of finally providing for myself, giving back to my family….giving back to society.

Like a fully grown tree, ready to bear fruits or flowers or cones or whatever potential that has been placed within.

But though it may be able to stand now on it’s own it has to always be connected to the earth, strong in its own roots to stand long. Like as it was a seedling, it will always need the same elements and nutrients that it needed- probably even more. It will always need the care of the one that planted, and nurtured it ’till full growth.

But forget that, and it soon will wither and break in face of the elements. Sometimes right after so much less than it took for it to grow, or sometimes much longer.

Ah, look the time!!!

I better get going~

I pray you all have a wonderful day everyone!

Sands and Dandelions

Caption from Prince of Persio: Sands Through Time

There are loved ones whom I haven’t met in almost 8 years… Some whom I haven’t met in 5 years… Loved ones who have passed away but have touched my heart, ’til this day… I, one day, will pass. Like the clouds… My deeds are like the seeds of the dandelion, scattered in the wind… I wonder will they land on fertile land and bloom one Day?

But that is not for me to know, but I know I can hope,

For I was once a seed, now I am here… Surely, the One God who has been tending to me hasn’t planted me for mere play.

(Originally posted through my instagram: growingtree1108)

Choice, for Now|T.O.A

“No one can tell what will happen in the future”- mom

And so many wise people say.

This is going to be quick. Am about to go to the airport for an unexpected flight.

And here we are…

Yesterday I entered college. Now half of my last semester has passed, and the year is ending.

I ask myself, “How did I live my life?”

I’ve always believed that we may not control the future, but no good choice and intention made now goes unrewarded. It just takes time. Time will tell, and guidance is there to help you onto the right track.

We are who we are, but what is now is but a mere drop. We can always choose to strive to be the best of who we are.

The choice we make, is the sure thing we can do.

So choose to find truth, choose to live truly. That’s the best we can always do.


COUNTDOWN| Birthday & Yolanda | Thoughts of An Ahjumma

–written last night, Nov. 7 a few hours before midnight. Grammar naziz beware!! A lot of grammatical errors in here~


Tick, tock, tick, tock…

As I write this, seconds pass in more than any speed we can ask for…Two events are about to pass, each with an impact that will affect lives. Make the wrong choices, believe in the wrong things and the outcomes will be disastrous!

Those two events (one on a personal note, and the other of a social impact) are my birthday and the imminent landfall of Super Typhoon Yolanda. ST Yolanda has just been reported to have dangerously gained strength to be a Category 5 typhoon- the largest in the world, they say.

No matter how much one prepares, on can only be hopeful to survive the disasters. The gravely affected would be my fellow Filipinos in Bohol and Cebu who were recently hit by a 6.2 magnitude quake and a tornado. One can only prepare to the extent one has been given with…but above all, the best one can do is pray.

Uncertainty weighs heavily in human life. No one deserves to boast in any case for no matter how much one accumulates, none can ever prepare fully for the inevitable events. Typhoons, earthquakes and tornadoes are just few of the examples of this truth. The passing of one’s life- the inevitable drawing closer of any person towards Death is the biggest example of the inevitable…and one that nobody can ever prepare for.

Many lives were lost in the recently passed calamities and it is expected that there will be (little, hopefully) lives gravely affected with ST Yolanda’s coming; lives people who came from different walks of life, but nonetheless…were or are people like me who never expected to end their journey anytime soon.

(Icebreaker!  I may be passed the age, but still a very cool and timely song,  YUI Thank You My Teens with lyrics here)

I am no longer a teen, and soon another year in adulthood will come to pass. Anytime, anywhere could be my destined end. I cannot do anything about it. Many people try to hide from the fact of aging, but I believe it is a truth that one can never run from. But I guess I understand why they do despite the fact that eventually life here on earth will soon come to an end.

I guess it’s because as each year passes in our life we it most difficult to face the questions of

“How did I live my life?”

“Have I lived with true purpose?”

“Where have I gone? Where am I going?”

“What person should I have been? What type of person do I truly need to become?”

(Ice breaker again! Another  YUI- Life with lyrics here)

I look at myself now and ask these questions. And they only get bigger and bigger.

“The past is as important as the present is also important as the future. The past will guide your present and what you make of your present will decide your future…”

What have I done to be thankful for the time I’ve been given, knowing that I can never know how much time I have left?

Have I avoided the right things? Have I let go of the right things? Have I striven with all my heart for the right things?

These are questions that must be answered….

And Time isn’t running back.